August 7, 2008

That's right, Hooters Hotpants.

So, I'm walking down the street the other day, pushing Elliot along in
his stroller, and I had the first verifiable proof that I am getting
old - I saw a young woman wearing something that, while I would not go
so far as to say I _disapproved_ of it, was certainly something I
would prefer MY daughter never wore. At first glance, it seemed to me
that this girl was wearing her bright orange underwear out on the
street. Upon closer inspection it was clear to me that I was
absolutely correct, and not only that, but they had "Hooters"
emblazoned across the butt.

Now, I have nothing against Hooters, and also have nothing against a
pair of Hooters pants. As long as they are actually PANTS. I am not
exaggerating when I tell you that I get more coverage from my
underwear than this girl was getting from those shorts. And no, it is
NOT because I am a fan of granny panties.

Anyway. I suddenly had this wild urge to stop her and say "Look, I
know you don't care what I think, and I know that your only real goal
here is to attract the attention of all the other hormonal hottentots
out there, but trust me when I tell you, you are going to cringe when
you remember wearing those out in public someday."

But I didn't. Alas. If I had this would be a MUCH better story.

Elliot is about 75% mobile, and as a result is hurting himself on a
regular basis. I'll let him practice sitting up, and he'll do great,
and then plop! Over he goes before I can catch him. And sometimes he's
fine and sometimes he bumps something, and then... OH THE MISERY!

(I started this email about a week and a half ago. Then we went to
Maine for the weekend, and Elliot got sick, and was really cranky,
then I started trying to get ready for my Carolina trip, then we went
to Northampton this weekend, and now I no longer remember what I was
going to be writing in this email. So... now for something completely
different!)

Elliot's got a tooth coming through. I've felt it for weeks now, just
a tiny little bump that I knew would be a tooth at some point, but no
one else could feel it. Now everyone can feel it, and it seems to
really be bothering him. He'll be perfectly happy and then just start
wailing, and the only thing I can figure is his mouth hurts. I'm
really hoping he finishes breaking this tooth sometime this week,
because I'd like him to feel better for our trip. Plus, I'm not wild
about the idea of him having all that extra fluid knocking around for
the flights - Waxor is prone to ear infections and he may have passed
that on to Elliot.

Dr. Burba says Elliot is in 60% height and 15% weight, and that I
should try to feed him more, so I'm doing my best, but, y'know, in
this he is definitely not MY son. If I am given tasty food and told
"eat, eat, eat MORE!" I do. Waxor is the one who just sometimes isn't
in the mood to eat, and I think he's given that to Elliot.

Speaking of Waxor, I think he's looking forward to Elliot and I being
gone. He will, of course, miss us, but if we're not here that means he
doesn't have baby duty first thing in the morning. I imagine he'll
use all his free time sleeping and playing WoW.

ARGH! I can't remember what I was talking about last time I was writing this...

Elliot is now totally cool sitting on his own. He still falls over
once in a very rare while, but he's got enough control to fall slowly,
so he doesn't hit his head. He's also gotten really good at scooting
backwards across the floor, and then getting really cranky when he
gets stuck under the coffee table of something.

I just spent this past week re-arranging the whole house. I guess in
my mind was the idea that it was possible that Elliot would learn to
crawl while we're in SC, and I didn't want to have to keep him penned
up while I half-assed-ly baby proofed the house when we got back, so I
decided to baby proof before we left. Except, since we're not moving,
there's a bunch of furniture we wanted to move around and tweak, to
prefect the layout, and there's no reason to baby proof til we get
that done, sooooo... I've been moving furniture, and storing old
clothes, and stuff like that, all week. And, of course, I have yet to
do any actual baby proofing (well, except I put away the nice wine
glasses). The only real thing that's gotten done was done by Waxor -
he put the baby gate up on the stairs.

Okay, I'm gonna send this now, because at this point I am so
disjointed from taking so long to write it that I don't th ink I can
finish it coherently. We'll just start afresh, shall we? Yes indeedy.