May 13,2008

I'm convinced that all children's programming was conceived by someone
sitting in a psychedelic room doing some really GREAT drugs. What do I
have as proof? Well, exhibit A:

Teletubbies. That's right, Teletubbies. For those of you unfamiliar
with more than the controversy over Tinky-Winky's possible
homosexuality, I will give you a run down.

At the start of every episode, the sun rises in Teletubby Land. This
is a highly creepy event, as Teletubby land is about 400 sq ft of
rolling hills with a mound in the center, containing feral rabbits and
talking flowers, and a weird, emotionless narrator, but most
especially because the sun is inhabited by a disembodied baby. A
disembodied, POSSESSED baby. I kid you not, that child is close
personal friends with pure evil, you can see it in his eyes. The
Teletubbies come outside, and perform some random action that closely
resembles what a toddler might think of doing in their spare time,
were they a gigantic primary colored monkey like thing with an obvious
phallic symbol on their heads. Then a big pinwheel starts spinning
out what I can only assume is a pinwheel generated TV signal, which
the Teletubbies receive by running to the top of the hill, doing some
pelvic thrusts, and calling out their names. One of them is randomly
chosen (perhaps by an invisible silent panel which judges their pelvic
thrusting by some dubious "Time Warp" standard) and their own personal
BELLY TELLY starts playing a pre-recorded movie of real children doing
something. Counting, herding sheep, whatever. Then we see the
Teletubbies, who all chant "Again, again" and it plays AGAIN. In case
you didn't catch it the first time. Then the Teletubbies go back to
their phallic headed toddler activities for a while, and then the sun
goes down. All this is interspersed with occasional shots of the
creepy bodiless baby sun, and the Teletubbies murmurings themselves,
which achieve greater and lesser clarity according, I can only assume,
to how much alcohol their actors had to consume prior to that day's
show in order to even contemplate getting into costume.

So yeah... you can see where the drugs might have come into the concept, right?

Today Elliot goes for his four month pediatric visit. They are going
to give him four shots, the second dose of everything they gave him at
2 months. I am... less than thrilled about it. Elliot, of course,
does not remember the last time, and won't remember this time. I,
however, will remember not only the shots, but also the crying, and
then the crankiness for the next 2-4 days. Looks like our little man
has inherited his Daddy's adverse reaction to vaccines.

I also intend to have the doctor give us a printed copy of his records
thus far... turns out that we need them for his passport. We're
required to take his birth certificate, our photo ID's, him, and
ourselves, off to the local office, however they "request as many of
the following as possible" of a whole slew of things, like medical
records and hospital birth record, etc. Seriously, it's enough to
make you batty. The idea behind it is that they want to prove that we
are his parents and he is who we say he is... but I think it's
bonkers.

The little man, totally independently of anything I have done, has
suddenly decided that he may like falling asleep in his crib.
Multiple times now he has been obviously tired, and when I try to put
him to sleep he gets crankier, but if I put him in his crib and give
him my finger to suck on he whines to himself a little bit and then
falls asleep. It's the most bizarre thing. I mean, I'm totally okay
with it, it's WAY better than hauling around 15 lbs of baby, plus, in
theory this is one step closer to his getting used to going to sleep
on his own (which I care nothing about, but is, itself, one step
closer to him not needing me in the middle of the night, which I
TOTALLY care about). The weird thing is that I was supposed to have
to teach him to do this through some long slow process, and he up and
decided to do it on his own. What a clever little guy.

Waxor continues to work pretty late. Yesterday he came home at 7, but
then he had to keep working for a few hours. This morning he was
supposed to just work from home, and then go to the office after
Elliot's Pedi visit, but he told me that he really needed to go in, so
this morning he took Elliot and let me sleep from 7 to a little before
8, and then he got dressed and went to work at 8:30 (just for
comparison, he normally goes in about 10). I'm gonna suggest to him
that he consider taking a day off once this particular project is good
to go, since he's been working late hours AND he worked Saturday. He
will probably tell me he can't, but I'm going to suggest it anyway.

Lurgle lurgle lurgle

Back from the Pediatricians! (Side note, I'm am constantly having to
stop myself from calling the pediatrician's the vet's. This is not
because I think my son is a dog, however I could not tell you why I do
it.) First of all, Elliot took his shots like a champion. He didn't
like them, but he cried very little. He even smiled not 2 minutes
later. However, he was very sleepy afterwards, and is upstairs
napping right now. (Another side note: As I was going to put him down
he opened his eyes, and looked at me, and them closed them and went
right back to sleep. That may have been the sweetest thing I've ever
seen.) The doctor checked all his stats, and we have been informed
that he is 75% in height, 40% in weight, and 15% in HEAD SIZE! That's
right, ladies and gentlemen, our baby boy has a TINY head. He got it
from Kay. The Pediatrician said "well, we'll just have to keep and
eye on it to make sure it grows" apparently a small head is some cause
for alarm, but I'm not worried. He's clearly bright and able and
developing correctly, he's just got a tiny head. That's what makes
him look like a little man. :) We mentioned the possibility of
Elliot's teething to her, as well, and I said "but he doesn't have any
teeth yet" and she said "well, they can teeth for months before any
actual teeth show."

GASP

Months?

But, but, but...

My poor boy.

Waxor has NOT rejected my idea of taking Friday off (after his current
project is done) but we'll see if it actually happens. In the
meantime, I think tomorrow morning he is going to the doctor himself.
He's been limping around for a few days because he walks funny on his
foot, and he wants to see the doctor. I have a sneaking suspicion that
he'll be told "You have three options: orthopedic shoes, forcing
yourself to walk correctly, or living with it the way it is" but maybe
not. We'll see.

Alright, I'm going to go clean more of the never ending mess that is
our house, now.

Tata!